A free 2-minute quiz about how you connect in relationships
Your attachment style is the pattern you tend to follow in close relationships: how you handle closeness, distance, and reassurance. Answer 12 short statements to see which pattern you lean toward.
There are no right or wrong answers. Go with your first reaction.
Statement 1 of 12
I worry that the people I'm close to will lose interest in me.
How much does this sound like you?
Statement 2 of 12
I feel uncomfortable when someone wants to get very close emotionally.
How much does this sound like you?
Statement 3 of 12
When someone doesn't text back, I start to imagine something is wrong between us.
How much does this sound like you?
Statement 4 of 12
I prefer to handle my problems on my own rather than lean on others.
How much does this sound like you?
Statement 5 of 12
I often need reassurance that I am loved or valued.
How much does this sound like you?
Statement 6 of 12
I find it easy to open up about my feelings with people close to me.
How much does this sound like you?
Statement 7 of 12
I get upset easily when a partner or friend seems distant.
How much does this sound like you?
Statement 8 of 12
When a relationship gets serious, I feel the urge to pull back.
How much does this sound like you?
Statement 9 of 12
I can feel confident that the people close to me will be there when I need them.
How much does this sound like you?
Statement 10 of 12
Depending on other people makes me uneasy.
How much does this sound like you?
Statement 11 of 12
I sometimes worry I care more about my relationships than the other person does.
How much does this sound like you?
Statement 12 of 12
I feel comfortable being close to people and also comfortable being on my own.
How much does this sound like you?
Your pattern leans toward
Secure
Worry about relationships
Discomfort with closeness
You tend to feel fairly comfortable with closeness and also comfortable with some independence. You can usually ask for support without too much fear, and you can handle a little distance without taking it personally.
What it can look like
Trusting that people close to you care, even when you disagree
Being able to talk about feelings without feeling overwhelmed
Recovering fairly quickly after conflict
Good to know
Even secure people have stressful seasons. If something specific is weighing on you, such as stress, a hard relationship or a habit you want to change, Ron is happy to talk it through.
You tend to want a lot of closeness and reassurance, and you may worry about whether people care as much as you do. Small signs of distance can feel big, and your mind can start to fill in the blanks.
What it can look like
Checking in often, or needing reassurance that things are okay
Overthinking a delayed text or a change in tone
Putting other people's needs first to keep the peace
Good to know
This is a learned pattern, not a flaw. Many people find that with practice, calming tools, and a better understanding of their triggers, they feel steadier in their relationships.
You tend to value independence and self-reliance. Very close emotional connection can feel uncomfortable, so you may pull back when things get serious or when someone wants more from you than you are ready to give.
What it can look like
Preferring to handle problems alone
Feeling crowded when someone wants a lot of closeness
Keeping some distance even in good relationships
Good to know
This is a learned pattern, often built to protect you. Many people learn to stay close without feeling trapped, one small step at a time.
You may want closeness and also feel nervous about it. Part of you wants to get near, and part of you worries about getting hurt, so you can swing between reaching out and pulling away.
What it can look like
Wanting connection but expecting to be let down
Feeling pulled in two directions in close relationships
Strong emotions when a relationship feels uncertain
Good to know
This pattern is common, especially after painful experiences. It is not a diagnosis, and it can change. Many people find that learning to calm their body and mind helps them feel safer in relationships. A good therapist can also help.
Leave your name and number and Ron will contact you personally. No pressure, and the first conversation is free. Sessions are held by video, so you can be anywhere in the US.